I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
