Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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