A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
