they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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