The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
