His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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