Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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