how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
