I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
smell my finger.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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