Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
