I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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