just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
