Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
