i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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