i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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