yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
