he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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