When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
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