From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize