I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I hate all girls vehemently.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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