I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
