She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
