Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
