You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
