i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
