I showed him my bush... on skype.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the day after is always just damage control
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
