let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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