i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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