Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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