The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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