i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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