On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
