i just google imaged poop.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
