Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
