Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
