You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
