doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's blow job season.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
