Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
