She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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