Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
