Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
