there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
