..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
