I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We just shotgunned beers for America
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
