Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
