there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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