One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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