Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
