she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
