I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
