grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize