Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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