I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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