what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
