I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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