when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
